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Noticing all the recent activity around the house with the cameras and the lights and the going out at all hours, my eldest dog has decided to help out with whatever is going on. Preston, the 12 year old miniature Australian shepherd, suffering from every ailment known to mankind and some we don’t, has no idea about documentary film-making but he can sense my need.

He basically helps out by waking up at 1am and howling and whining. He combines the noise with furious scratching to every inch of his body. If he’s really in a good mood, he’ll wrap himself in the sheets at the end of the bed and let loose with some pitiful moaning. This leads to me opening my eyes in the middle of the noise to find out the source of the racket. This usually takes about a nanosecond. Then I add my own noise to the general cacophony, a deep sigh because I’ve been here before.

After I settle him down, which sometimes includes a midnight ramble around the neighborhood, well I’m up. I would like to fall back to sleep, but a funny thing happens in my brain. Funny, if you aren’t me that is. The brain senses all that unused processing power and decides to fire up the question engine.

Because of the film, there is no end to the questions. Should I fly to Taiwan and shoot some B-Roll footage? I wonder where I can get that smooth shooter cheap? If I do rent the green screen stage, what can I get Master Tu to do on the stage that would be cool? The list of questions goes on and on.

You would think that at 2 am in the morning, I would be able to ignore these questions and retreat to sleep. You would think that, wouldn’t you? But once the brain gets the question, it wants to answer it. I will fly to Taiwan. I can get the smooth shooter cheap. I’ll get Master Tu to do amazing Qigong in front of the green screen and then tie him into some of his own paintings.

Questions answered, so it must be time to go to bed. Answers only breed more questions. Those in turn, quickly find the nearest unused brain matter and produce more questions.

If you go to Taiwan, where will you go? How will you communicate since you don’t speak the language and you can barely speak your own? How will you shoot Master Tu’s birthplace if he can’t tell you where that birthplace is located?

Do you really need the Smooth Shooter? Shouldn’t you think about hiring a real DP to use the Smooth Shooter? Don’t you want the film to look good? When are you going to finish that book on cinematography so you can better grasp how much you don’t know? Do you really want to make a film?

Where can I rent the Green Screen Stage? Is there enough money in the budget for the rental? Will Master Tu have enough time in his schedule to come to the Stage for a day? Will he want to perform for ten hours while you fumble with the lights? If you do shoot all this Chroma Key footage, are you sure you can actually use it in the film? Where does the word Chroma Key come from?

And repeat.

So, Preston is doing his part. He’s been doing this pretty regularly since the project started. He thinks nothing of waking up several times in order to help me with my quest. Preston is a giver.

In Business news, I am now the proud director of a company. The California Government has decided that Bad Ass Bunny Productions is indeed a Limited Liability Company. And to top it off, my bank will soon be sending me checks with that phrase splattered across the top. Now, all I need is the logo.

In Production moving forward news, I did have a long talk with Mrs. Oh. Mrs. Oh is the boss of Mr. Ching. She is also the one who was integral in me getting the okay from the Tu’s about the documentary. She did receive flowers.

The Tu’s had talked to Mrs. Oh about the big stunt to make sure we were all on the same page regarding the big stunt. At the moment, we are having logistical problems about the big stunt. Basically, I’ll be out of town in the Caribbean when all these fine Iron Crotch enthusiasts are going to be in Los Angeles for an Iron Crotch Tournament in Arcadia. There is a message here about mice and men and best laid plans. Hopefully, things will work out for this extravaganza.

The other thing we wanted to clarify was the scope of the big event. I originally envisioned a much bigger scope since I thought I was going with the Tu’s wishes. There again, is that pesky need for me to speak Taiwanese. I think we have it worked out. the only problem is now that I have two elements for the big stunt in line, the third element, the Supplier, no longer returns my emails. I started to go forward because the Supplier seemed to be onboard. Now, I might have scared them off.

Why am I being so vague about the big stunt? Because I can.