Info

I’m a bad blogger. What can I say? But just because I’m not posting blogs doesn’t mean the Documentary has ended. It continues, although at a glacial pace.

One of the problems is the screenplay. It’s actually the biggest problem. Before we can start up production, I must write down what we are going to film.

Well, how hard could that be? It turns out it’s pretty hard. Where do you compress the story of Master Tu and his Iron Crotch techniques?

In the beginning, I thought I could just film Master Tu doing what Master Tu does, throw in some background material and voila, I would have a beautiful documentary that makes the rounds of festivals and wins lots of awards.

Well, I know what Master Tu is going to do. That’s the easy part. As a matter of fact, I have a list of the his performances sitting here on the desk mocking me as I type. It’s just all the stuff surrounding the Master Tu performances that is holding me up.

One of my weaknesses is my lack of knowledge of what Master Tu teaches in his classes. How do you learn to pull a truck with your penis?

To that end, to the learning part of the equation, I have enrolled in Master Tu’s Qigong and Iron Crotch classes. As of today, I have taken two Qigong classes and one Iron Crotch class. I didn’t have the requisite skirt for the first Iron Crotch class, so I was just an observer. That will all change tonight.

I spent Friday removing the seams on an old pair shorts in preparation. Yes, Cindi is constantly looking at me as if I have lost my mind. But if you have to suffer for you art, I am prepared to suffer. At this point it’s mostly embarrassment I suffer.

The flip side of attending the classes is that I have broken my writers block a modicum. I have ideas again of where the movie should go and I am committing those to paper.

The filming aspect of the documentary hasn’t ground to a complete halt. Over the fourth of July weekend, Master Tu held an Iron Crotch competition at his school in Aracadia. Naturally, I was out of town that weekend. But I did hire Emmy Award Winning Producer and Filmmaker Matthew Wolff to film the event. He shot lots of great footage of which I will show you a modest amount. There is some really good stuff here and you will just have to wait for the movie’s release to see it.

That being said, there is still the usual Master Tu awesomeness. People lifting hundreds of pounds with their testicles. Nice woman getting iron bars shoved into their throats. Classmates standing on other classmates. And it wouldn’t be a Master Tu class if he wasn’t hitting somebody with a baseball bat. Enjoy. I need to go write.