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As my friend Mr. Ching always points out, never challenge a Master. It’s even more salient if it’s a Grandmaster. “How many Kung Fu films do you have to watch before you realize it always ends up in the Grandmaster’s favor?” he is fond of pointing out. They are Grandmasters for a reason.

Naturally, I challenged Grandmaster Tu. One of the stunts on my lists of stunts to be filmed was ice breaking. This is a list the Tu’s supplied to me. Now, Grandmaster Tu hasn’t done an ice break in over a decade. When we were discussing the schedule of when we were going to film the various demonstrations, I got a lot of resistance on when to film the ice break. I got the impression that Grandmaster Tu didn’t really feel like doing it.

While we were having this discussion, we were also talking about my participation in the Iron Crotch classes. I joined the classes so I could have a modicum of empathy for the feats of strength and Qi that Grandmaster Tu demonstrates.

Well the discussion of lifting and ice breaking mated horribly in my mind and produced an unwholesome offspring. Mr. Ching was not at hand to stop me from speaking the idea that had blossomed in my mind.
I’d been lifting for a small while. I could lift almost fifty pounds. Which for me was an accomplishment beyond my greatest expectations. I volunteered to the Tu’s that if I could lift 100 lbs, he would break 1000 lbs of ice. And by lift, I mean by using Iron Crotch techniques.

When I started this project, never did I imagine that I would end up in this little cul de sac. Mr. Ching can only shake his head and laugh.

So, I started training and got up to 70 pounds. 100 pounds was well within my grasp. But then I took a job building sets on the Universal Backlot for a feature film. My appearances at the 99 Power Center became infrequent. It turns out that if you work ten hours a day doing construction, you really don’t feel like doing another two hours of exercise at the end of the day.

Also Grandmaster Tu was spending the months of October and November traveling around the country doing seminars and working on his ranch. On the odd moments when I would show up for practice, Grandmaster Tu would be in New York. While I was sitting at home watching the World Series, Grandmaster Tu was asking the Qigong class where was I.

Come December, my ability to lift was greatly reduced. The thought of lifting 50 pounds never mind 100 pounds gave me the chills.

The planets aligned. Grandmaster Tu and I were finally at the 99 Power Center at the same time. I was appalled to learn that we were going to have a progress test in the Iron Crotch room. Fortunately we never made it to the IC room for the test. Grandmaster Tu wanted to prep the whole class for a showcase event in Pomona in January.

I was off the hook. No test.

But Jenny translated something Master Tu said as I was heading out the door, “Twenty Days”.
I had twenty days left to make good on my promise. Oh, dear.

Basically I would have to start from about twenty pounds, which was what I could lift at the time and work my way up to 100. In twenty days.

I’ve fudged the time frame in my mind. I think Grandmaster Tu wants me to be ready by the day of the exposition which is on the 15th of January. This was actually 26 days from the time I was given the ultimatum. If Grandmaster Tu sticks to his twenty days pronouncement, I have until the 9th.

I’ve made trips to Big 5 and Sport Chalet to buy weights. I’m lifting every day. Yesterday, I lifted 67 pounds. Or basically I can lift two Olympic plates. I need to only lift one more plate. How hard can that be?

Every time I exercise, I hear Mr. Ching chuckle.